I patiently await the day that the love in my heart is aligned once again with my emotions and mind. Someone I love very much has wounded me deeply and I am caught in the turmoil of sadness, anger, bitterness, longing, loneliness, yearning, regret.... I have never been in such a dark tornado of feelings before and am seeking the way to rise into the light once again. I am trying to throw off all expectations and sit in the loving arms of our Father, for I know, even though I don't feel it, that He knows what is best for me and will lead me to the path that I seek. In the words of Mother Teresa, "....I trust Him blindly in spite of all feelings."

At times, I seek for someone to blame but there is no one. It is the work of providence, a series of events, that have lead me to this place. I try to embrace the cross and walk valiantly forward, although I feel very little courage. Only the One who has walked this road of Calvary before can give me all the strength I need for this journey. For He has seen and felt all these emotions, all this hurt, all this betrayal, all this pain, in His Own Heart, and was moved by the Father's will to complete the task that lay before Him. I find my hope and confidence in Him.